I have ADHD.
According to the DSM-5 checklist (my symptoms in particular listed below), I definitely live with enough inattention symptoms, and the hyperactive/impulsive symptoms are almost enough. I think I mask enough of them well enough to bring me just outside the boundaries of hitting enough marks there.
DSM-5 checklist items that apply to me
Inattention is the hardest thing day-to-day that I actually need to figure out how to cope with.
Inattention
| Inattention Symptom | Tools/Methods |
|---|---|
| Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate). | Stop putting in a podcast or book to get you through the task (doing dishes, driving, mowing). Doing it distracted will only increase mistakes. |
| Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading). | Set aside specific time to do that task and nothing else. You may do nothing, or you may do the task. |
| Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked). | Put on some sort of ambient music. Good ol’ PS1 D&B mixes or jazz or whatever. Just get something to give you momentum. |
| Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines). | Gotta find some tools/methods that help organize these things. |
| Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g., schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers). | It’s not that I avoid these things, but I generally will start them and then put them off. |
| Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (for older adolescents and adults, may include unrelated thoughts). | Deleted distracting apps, and remove external distractions. If you have a lot to do for work, turn off your desktop. |
| Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments). | Gotta find some methods/tools to help organize these things. |
Hyperactivity and impulsivity
I don’t have trouble coping with these (most of the time)
| Hyperactivity Symptom | Note |
|---|---|
| Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat. | I am always tapping, drumming, or jiggling my leg. |
| Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the classroom, in the office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining in place). | If I’m on a call, the only thing keeping me in place is if I have something to attract my attention, like trying to troubleshoot a problem on screen or having a little mindless game on or something. I must pace, otherwise. |
| Impulsivity Symptom | Note |
|---|---|
| Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation). | I do this all the time. I want people to know that I’m listening and understanding, and it’s difficult to keep it in. |
| Often has trouble waiting his/her turn (e.g., while waiting in line). | It is so hard to let someone examine something to fix it, troubleshoot it, or just enjoy a new thing without saying “Lemme take a look.” |
| Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations, games, or activities; may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission; for adolescents and adults, may intrude into or take over what others are doing). | This one I don’t really have a problem with, because I feel like I’ve edited my speaking down to “Is what I’m going to say contributing?” I do frequently feel the urge to hop in and say something, though. |
Biggest Difficulties
I can complete tasks once I’ve started them, maintain conversations, and have enough focus that it generally doesn’t affect my day-to-day. I am frequently very disorganized, but I at least usually know where my stuff is, and I will deal with messes once they get in the way or affect other people.
My wife has made it so that our home is organized well enough that I don’t have trouble, because she organizes things in a way that makes sense to both of us and doesn’t leave anything important outside of our notice.
I have enough of my own coping mechanisms that, for example, I always know exactly where my phone, wallet, car keys, and headphones are, as well as my work laptop, work badge, and necessary peripherals are.
Reminder Blindness
The worst of the daily stuff it is me remembering to complete tasks. I’ve tried different reminder systems - phone notifications are helpful, but only if I remember to put them in. Sticky notes are great, especially if I put them on something I know I’m going to interact with, but if I need to interact with something more than I need to pay attention to the note, the note gets left aside.
Whiteboards or designated note spaces just fall outside of my attention after a while. I become blind to them, and this might be the most frustrating part. A designated space for reminders of tasks I need to do would be so good, but a couple weeks after they’re established, my eyes just slide over them and they become useless.
I need tools or methods to make sure I’m keeping track of stuff. If you’re reading this, and you have ideas, please feel free to send them to mister@lucastiedeman.com with the subject ADHD Reminder Blindness.
ADHD Paralysis
Paralysis is my single biggest demon. It keeps me pinned in place, and causes me to neglect the things I find important or need to do, like work tasks or things to improve my home.
ADHD Mental Paralysis
Occurs when overcome with too many emotions, pieces of information, thoughts, or sensory inputs.
You’ve had an argument with a friend, and because you’re overwhelmed by how to handle it, how you feel and how you think you should or should not act, you shut down and don’t take action at all.
In times of high emotional stress or when I’m overwhelmed or overstimulated by many things happening, it can cause me to shut down, panic and do the wrong thing, or just try to do anything (or not do anything) so the situation smooths over. I think this is the thing that causes the most pain, and is hardest to deal with, because I feel like there is no correct choice in what I should say or do, despite knowing there’s something that must be done.
When I’m stressed over a long period, it’s a lot easier for me to become this way because my ambient stress levels are higher in general.
I find that when it’s an emergency (someone is or could potentially become injured or something), this doesn’t really hit, and I don’t know why in particular, but I’m at least glad of it.
What can I do?
Maybe I just need to say out loud that I need to slow down and reset? I dunno. This is really difficult, because I need to recognize it.
ADHD Task Paralysis
When I feel hesitant, scared, or unmotivated to perform a task
Avoiding a project at work because you’re worried you won’t meet a deadline or you have a hard time choosing between which tasks you should work on.
What can I do?
Do any small step. Literally any step. You must put a crack in the dam. You have to start somewhere.
Sometimes the first step might be reaching out to figure out what your first step is. Sometimes it might be just listing out what steps there are to take. Just do it.
This will always be ongoing
I need to do something to get a handle on my ADHD. It isn’t something I want medicated, because I don’t think I need that. I think side effects or forgetfulness or any other number of factors I’m not thinking about (medication costs? Fuckin’ yikes…) would make it maybe not worth it.
But in times of high stress (the good ol’ “may you live in interesting times” curse that has applied for over a decade now), I really need to do stuff to get it handled. I had it handled for a while - I felt like an adult - but it’s hit me hard, and I feel like I’ve regressed a lot. It makes me feel like a teenager.